A past He had surpassed ...
Youth, this word sells dreams. “Carpe Diem”, “You only live once : YOLO” and a bunch of expressions were inspired by this time of life we would like so much to keep forever and carefully … Oh ! Youth !
My youth looked so bright from the outside. Wonderful parents, though imperfect but so caring and so loving; two adorable young brothers so funny, real sunhines, a true brotherhood bound by such a great love; success in my studies ; lots of friends ; a life by the sea, with nature and animals all around in a huge area ; and the “POPularity” … What more could we ask for, would you tell me?
And yet, the story I am going to tell you is one of a broken heart, a lost soul, a dirty life, real rags which one day were picked up by a Divine Artist : He made it become a white and shiny dress, festive clothes !
BURNED under the SPOTLIGHTS
God gave me a gift : my voice. At 13, after participating a well-known program of reality-TV in Madagascar, I was suddenly put under the spotlights. From show to show, from clip to clip, I moved in a world of showbiz from my early age, and it made me grow up faster than the music. In fact, I spent time only with people much older than me, and very quickly I was engaged in practices of this word. I thought I was happy and I loved this fame, I loved my own glory ! Nevertheless, when the night came, I sometimes cried when I was alone in my bedroom …. I thought it was normal as it was just a teenage crisis.
During these few years at High school, I was a very good student because of my good grade in spite of my glamorous life. At that point I applyed God for a scholarship in order to study abroad. I just ignored that it was God who put this prayer in my heart.
Yes, I was a believer, my parents tried to give me christian values to which I was attached, and I knew that God was with me. But I didn’t understand Christ’s action on the Cross and the concept of sin was totally vague for me. Until the day when …
Between HATRED and BITTERNESS
God answed to my prayer and I arrived in France with my scholarship for starting my graduate studies. I moved from “national star” to “famous unknown” and all the attention I received (from my parents, my friends, my family, my fans) has gone away. Actually, at 10,000 km away from my country, I had nothing more. I was so attached to my glory that I invented a new life, a more interesting story with my new friends and acquaintances in order to own their attention and to be the focus of their conversations. Then, I gradually felt into a mythomania and started to believe my own lies. I loved keeping at this vicious circle and I was even happier in my fake life. This lasted over 2 years …
One day God put on my way a very special person : He revealed truth in his heart about my life, as well as every time I lied for something, he knew it. God placed indications everywhere in order to make this person gradually discovered the fake life I invented. So one day I decided to start all from the beginning and I admitted I had a real problem that made me suffer and that I had to be delivered from my lies … .
HEALING begins when you ADMIT YOUR ILLNESS
At the same time, in early 2011, two Christian girls (who had the same first name) wanted to pray for me. At that time, I made a lot of nightmares in which I was struggling, and in the morning I woke up covered in bruises. The very special person led me to these girls and we prayed together asking God to deliver me. Gradually the prayers of these sisters, I felt the links breaking and then, I met to cry in warm tears. For the first time, I was aware of the weight of my sin and my intense suffering. It was then the beginning of a strong struggle angainst myself and against satan’s work.
But in July 2011, the very special person who was my only great confident in my battle left for 2 months to Madagascar. Thus I was alone to face my concerns and myself. Moreover, at the same time, I missed the competition for integrate the academy I wished, and I had an opportunity for integrate a school in Le Havre in Normandy. I did’nt know anybody and I hold a bad conception of this town which removed the desire to go. However, it was in that town that God wanted me. I was angry against Him but yet I seeked Him like ever. I brang so down that I had no other choice to turn me to Jesus : it was the only solution in my situation. I needed Him and His powerful Hand, not for changing the circumstances but for changing my heart.
PEACE and JOY: The Eternal Meeting
August 2011. Blackness. Obscurity. Tunnel.
I sought so much the Lord that I could attend three church services each sunday in different churches and even on weekdays ! I was thirsty and I could not bear myself anymore, I needed to be turned upside down.
Nevertheless it was not in a church I met Jesus. He came to me in the night of August 6th to August 7ths 2011 in my bedroom. It was a day as the others and we were going to shoot the video of a Gospel group I just joined recently. God showed His Glory by stopping the rain at the right time and in that evening, one friend brang me to a prayer group with other young people. As part of this group, we were invited to share a few themes one oh which was humility. At the end of the meeting, while we shared a meal, a young girl raised her voice and spoke to me in front of everybody. I hated you, I hated you in the past and when I saw you video going on, I changed the channel. I couldn’t stand your laughter nor to see you on TV. When I saw you coming out that door, I said to the Lord “why did You bring her there ?” …
But though, I was very moved by your sharing just before and I beg you to apologize me. I also beg the Lord to forgive me.
This young girl might not know it nowadays (so, M …. if you are reading this story) but the Lord used this moment to bring me to Him. I heard my own feelings toward the words she spoke outloud, yes, actually I hated myself and it was why I hid myself behind some appearances and lies. But despite this, I knew SOMEONE who loved me with a deep love.
On my way home, tears kept flowing and once in my bedroom, I knelt down in front of the King of Kings. I was overwhelmed by HIs love I didin’t deserve but He wanted to give it to me. I FINALLY understood what Jesus has done for ME on the Cross, how He died for my sins and how He offered me His Hand … He just waited for me to take it. An undescribable feeling came to me and I began to repent of all my sins. An undescribable PEACE came and took place in my heart…. That night, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and my Savior. It was THE meeting. He saved me !
I never felt as happy as that moment. At last, a Real happiness and I was able to LOVE at last, I was able to LOVE MYSELF and I could at last LOVE HIM ! For me, It was the beginning of freedom and LIFE …
THE GREAT DIVE, the great plunge, the great “yes”: great things with Jesus … .
Quite a while after, I made a dream : I was put into a water in which I was purified. So I was baptised like Christ said in His Word, the Bible.
Pushed by the Holy Spirit to get my situation sorted out in front of God, I married a short time after the very special person (also touched by Christ a few months before), a person I loved so deeply and I still love so much and we are presently parents of fiur very special babies.
Persevering in FAITH
I have so much to say about what God did in my life, and how He continues every day, but the key is to say : Jesus in His huge Love has suffered on the Cross in order I can find my joy in Him and feel FREE, to do good and to do it well, today and for the eternity !
Today again, I keep growing and I’m far from being perfect, but as Paul said “It’s not that I already won the best price or reached perfection, but I still run to get it, because me too, I have been touched by Jesus Christ.”
Yes, I am in this kind of race and I have the Eternal life. I found happiness. And that’s why I wanted to share it with you.
This is my story … Jesus still has another beautiful story to write : YOURS !
Just let Him come into your heart