I found everything I was looking for
“I still haven’t found what I’m looking for” – a song of a famous rock band U2 – accurately describes the first 22 years of my life. What was I looking for? I guess what everyone desires; love, acceptance, security, purpose and meaning of life. Although I had loving parents I didn’t feel loved. Today I understand we were using a different kind of “love language”. I was a good student, I was admitted to the university without any entering exams and Cracow was a wonderful place, but only to study. Was it enough to be happy? I had many friends but never knew if a person was 100 % committed to me and I suffered several disappointments with such “friendships”. God? I heard about Him since I was a child but He seemed distant, strict and punishing rather than loving – unless I did enough good to deserve His love. But how much is enough? Although I was a very religious person and truly wanted to please God, no matter how hard I tried I always did or said something wrong or thought something which I would be ashamed to admit. I desperately cried out to God to change something in my life. He did. The year of 1981 was a turning point for me, not because of a political situation in Poland but because of a special decision I made. With help of my friends I understood that the thing I was looking for was within reach for me. There was someone who knew everything about me, even the things I would rather forget and wipe out of my life and still loved me without any smallest condition. I understood I didn’t have to do anything to deserve that love. It’s Him, God, who “loved me first” (1 John), and proved it by sending His son Jesus Christ to die for me on a cross. He already did all there was to do. But now I have to decide what to do with this free given love of God – whether to accept the gift or reject it or maybe just overlook it. I decided to trust His love and entrusted my life to Jesus asking Him to take control over my steps and to change me according to His will. He became my Savior and Lord. What I desire now? It’s been 20 years since and I’m a happy mother of two almost grown up sons. I experience life with all its ups and downs, but I know God faithfully walks with me and His love remains the same. I know I won’t surprise Him with anything and when I fall He helps me get up and keep on going. My life is safe in His hands – He controls all the circumstances. The awareness of His care guarded my peace when I was waiting for my operation and helped me survive the operation of my first child – my son was only four weeks old when we was operated on. I know I can trust God’s promises written in the Holy Scripture. When I rest on them in my daily life I find them to be true. My value is based on the fact that I’m a King’s daughter, created according to His image, and it doesn’t depend on any of my achievements, on somebody’s appreciation, or the thickness of my wallet. I learn to enjoy every single day of my life, to live in harmony with God, with myself and with others and to discover all the gifts that God in His love has given to me. I found in Christ what I’ve been looking for; someone helped me to find it and now I want to help others to experience His love so they also could live a full life. I greatly desire that every woman in Poland have an opportunity to hear the gospel of salvation, to know Christ and to live a full life.
I found everything I was looking for in Jesus. What about you? What are you looking for?