Carrying Despair in my Heart and Soul
From childhood to adulthood
Apart from a few family pictures, I don’t really recall anything about my childhood. Although I tried to know any further, rumors about my dad and his past mistakes made me hold a grudge against him. When I take a look at my report card and first Picture Days of my early school years, I see a smile on an innocent child, from which I read: “Good student, yet could do better”. Although I was this close to be top of the class… I am now married and a father myself, and getting to realize the importance of a good family balance in a child’s life.
Fall to despair
As a child, I increasingly crumbled to despair. My childhood subsequently fell into a darkness and despair when my father passed away and my mother married another man. This situation lasted for about ten years. From a ten years old boy in deep pain, crying out for injustice, to a twenty years old young man literally shattered mentally, but also physically. I went from having my first smoke at the start of my teen years, to hanging out with the wrong people. I had no interest in school or whatsoever, but instead was addicted to drug and focused on the joys of this world… Meanwhile, despair grew deep down inside as I was submerged in confinement, and got sick of life.
From despair to a new life
One day, a friend said to me: “God has a plan for you!” Back then, I did not yet comprehend the meaning of that sentence, however up until now it is still on my mind. Later on, I decided to get to know this God that has youth witness miracles. As a first time listener to the Gospel, I was moved by the word of Jesus-Christ and His values which I thought were forever lost: Love, Forgiveness, Fellowship, Compassion, Kindness, Mercy, Respect, you name it…
And now ?
Today I am a thoroughly changed man by the love of Jesus-Christ, and am no longer consumed by despair. On the contrary, I am now consumed by the desire of sharing with countless people through time and circumstance, the miracles that Jesus has performed in my life. Words can’t describe how much hope I am filled with, by the grace of God. Life is just a transition to a better life. Meanwhile, God is giving me the gift of life, along its share of trials and challenges of course. However, I know that every step of the way I can have peace of mind, healing and hope to expect for more in His name.
Now it’s your turn to live and hope!
I invite you to think over your life, get a chance to believe again in true values of life and be good to all of the people that you care about and those surrounding you. When you’re alone, take the opportunity to ask God to lead your path as well, so that you can find or maybe find again a forever hope.