Jesus I know my heart is a hard place to live in
I was born in catholic family. We have small farmat home, so our lives has been always connected to nature and it's Creator. As a child it was only natural for me to believe in God. In growing up of course there was a time when going to Sunday masses was hard. But i grew out of it. I get used to prayer and holy masses. It wasn't until my second year in high school that i asked myself what i actually believe in, why i go to church each Sunday and what it means to be a christian in everyday life. I found youth group in our parish and there teens who have the same questions as me. Everything was better. I soon bacame really confident about my religion. I thought i knew a lot about my faith and God. But then I felt like God has abandoned me. Like i was all alone and there was something missing inside of me. I didn't know what i done wrong and what to do to feel better. I was still going to holy masses. At the Eucharist I always said in my heart Jesus I know my heart is a hard place to live in, but i'm giving you a piece of it anyway. I didn't feel any better. I thought that Jesus isn't listening to me. Then after about two months this feeling disappeared. For long I didn't know what was all about. But then it came to me. In my faith I was feeling prideful. In secret I thought I was good enough, that I was better than others and that there are people that are worse than me in this world. Pride was the reason that I felt disconnected to God. Now I know my mistake. I am trying to be better, trying to live a better life. Trying to understand and told myself time and time again that God has created us all and loves us equally. So now i am trying to seek God in every person that i meet.