A Not So Special, Special Story (Mine)
Once upon a time, i always love stories that start like that. Anyways to start off my life story, I have to be completely honest, this is not a testimony saying that I was a alcoholic and did drugs before or I was raised in a broken family were neither my parents were ever there for me, No, my life was well special in a not so special way.
I was born a christian and both my mom and dad were both Christians. They would greatly be involved in the church, that is why most of my life involves me always going to church almost every single day. I was raised to live according to Gods will and His faithfulness and I was also brought to a Christian private school from kindergarten all the way to high school. All my friends were either from church or from school (most were very religious). Life was ever so simple and easy for me, is something that never came to my mind.
Even though I was in a christian environment, I still longed and craved sinful things, did sinful things and pretty much disobeyed my parents and God, and almost everyone thought of me as “pasaway” or annoying. I was a real annoying kid before, I always teased the smaller kids and bullied them until they cried, and then lied to the parents. And at school, I was always the one who would always try to be in the popular group by teasing some my classmates, or try to tell a joke or even try to be good at sports. I learned later on that what I was really lacking was acceptance, not only in others but myself included.
Being in a Christian environment does not mean that your life is perfect, that your the lucky one cause you didn’t go through backslides, compromises or a long list of bad decisions. We are born sinners, when we wake up we already are filled with sin, humans are totally depraved in sin, no matter how holy your religion is. You have the same amount of sin as a murderer. But with realization of sin comes repentance then comes forgiveness. You wake up with sin, but you also God in your heart and you learn every day how to overcome sin and temptation and to learn not to make the same mistakes again, and again, and again. Just like I did.
I was born an only child, and being an only child in a environment full of people with brothers and sisters makes a person really lonely and detached from the world. People say that being an only child is awesome cause you get to get all you want and your parents spoil you with everything. I want to make it clear that, that is not true, maybe to some but to me, I felt really alone. My parents were strict about saving money and really keen on teaching a child to be humble with the things he was given. I am very thankful for my parents for that, it was useful for my future decisions. We weren’t rich in my family, we stayed in a bunk-bed type of bed were I slept in the top and my parents were on the bottom. But I was always certain we weren’t poor also, my parents were able to always get by with matters involving money. I always thought I would have a trust fund or that I would inherit something when I reached a certain age, but instead I was given more than any of that. In Luke 12:21 it says “This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God.” My parents have stored in me what it means to be a christian and to live in Christ. To store up treasures in Heaven and not on Earth.
Now what does that have to do with my story of lack of acceptance? Well I would make friends in any way I could, by dressing differently, by trying out a new activity or sport or by trying to be in a relationship with girls. I was storing up friends and friendships here on earth all because I wanted to feel whole or complete. That was not what God wanted, or what He intended for me. But through it all, I am the person I am now, Wonderfully and Beautifully made in the character of Christ.
I have tons of stories that tell of how I tried to gain acceptance through people instead of Christ but I have one in particular, and this was actually just last year. It was a story about my compromise, my relationship with someone I thought that could fill me up inside. Every time I pray before I would always pray half-prayers cause I would pray to help me, guard my heart and let me love just you God, but I would always add in a little request like “Let me have a relationship, I can handle it, I’m ready” That happened for a long time. Until last year, when I finally got into a relationship with one of my friends from church. I can say it was the best feeling ever, or that it felt so living and comfortable to be in one but that’s not part of my story. It was the most guilty, most depressing, most hardest part of my life.
It was like I was asking God why not now, and I’m ready for a relationship, why don’t you give it to me like the other happy couples or friends? And God was like, no my child, its not ready for you yet, I have a bigger plan than that. But with my continuous rebellion and defiance and pleading, God was probably like, GO THEN, HAVE A RELATIONSHIP NOW, YOU WILL SEE WHY I HAVE KEPT IT AWAY FROM YOU ALL THESE YEARS! And to be completely honest, it was sad that I broke Gods heart with my compromise just to please my sinful desires of the heart. It took a long time for me to get over it and alot of discipline from my leaders and friends from church. It took even longer for me to come back to God, to see if He will take me back into His embrace. And just like the prodigal son, I realized my mistake and ran straight to God and realized that He was right there waiting for me, coming to me, embracing me in His presence like never before.
Being born a Christian never means no struggles or circumstances of life will ever affect you or come after you, just with Christ as your savior, your friend, your father, your one true love, you can handle and overcome, overpower and overjoy over His love and presence in your life. In my entire life I never thought of myself as a leader actually, I was always the very shy, quiet and just listen to the one in charge type of guy but seeing how my life and my dozens of testimonies change and help people along the way in their walk with God, makes me think that I can be a leader. I can be a leader and rise up to face my circumstances and temptations of life ….through Christ who gives me strength -Philippians 4:13.
Continue to follow my blog and I hope this story of mine helped influence any one of you, even if you don’t press the like button, I still pray and hope that what I wrote hear touched you. If you have any comments, questions or violent reactions, just give me a message. God bless and be remain blessed.