My Life Ended at a Nightclub

but let me go back to what happen in the beginning 

my mother was the first one who became Christian in the family and that make a big mess in her family and her father threatening  her to kill her because she changed her religion ..

and what happened is that she told him once that she is going to get baptized and he said you know if you do that i will bury you in that place where are you going to get baptized 

she said i will not do  anything against you but i know God will do something …

and in that day she was in a revival meeting in that church and her father he came to that church just to plan you know to  hurt that Pastor  … American pastor

and he was waiting near the door where he started to listen    what are these crazy people are saying and God touched his heart in that evening and after the meeting he came to   her and said   when are you going to get baptized she told him  he said ok put my name and they got baptized in the same day

so she led her father to Christ then she led her mother to christ and then the  third generation was us   

she led all of my brothers and sister but it was only me in the family  who was the black sheep …. i started to ask myself :why Christianity is right ???

i was searching for 2 things 

one thing i was searching is for happiness … because for me everything is …. a poor family we don’t have anything …what if we have money …what ….what 

and the other thing is :where the truth is … is it in christianity or is it in other religions ?? 

so i practiced Islam for more than 3 years …i was a muslim …. where i did not find what i was looking for 

so with a help with some of my friends  they teach me how to take drugs

and i became addicted to drugs but for me i found some happiness in there

But i was struggling ….i started to drink … but i was struggling

i have no happiness….nothing changed in my life….

but i knew …i knew that there is a mother ….my mother …is praying for me …

4 to 5 hours everyday for 23 years on her knees …

and my grandmother was praying for me , and she used to tell me …

look boy …i’m not going to die before you become a Christian ….then i will die 

see …she used to tell me please accept the Christ because i miss my lord …

i want to go home … i want to go home 

because i did not find  the truth in Christianity , in Islam ..

you know i’m a musician ….i like music..

a friend of mine he said ..why don’t i offer you something i said what 

and then he took me to that nightclub which was the biggest nightclub in Jordan

and he said you will enjoy your life here … so when i went there in that time …

and said WOW ….this is Paradise ….this is heaven ….this is heaven

and i worked there for many years to find out that even people who has big money you know  they are not happy…they are not happy

So…what i would do … i was struggling in my life a lot…. no happiness … money .. i used to get lots of money ..

money is not helping me … Christianity is not … Islam is not 

what i would do…the best is to kill myself …. so 3 times i tried to kill myself …and get rid of this life

but one day …a friend of mine he came to me in Jordan and he said to me Kamal…if you die and if i die …where do you go you think ?or where do i think i will go ??

you know for me it’s boring to ask everyday …i used to tell him why are you telling me this ??

but when i go to my tents…that was scaring me a lot …… and for the first time in many years i went to the church for the first time …

and when i entered that place …. i said oh my God this is what i miss … this is what i miss you know people are happy but I’m not

they don’t have anything and i have everything but I’m not happy 

so a person at that time said because you are not cold and you are not hot I’m going to through you out of my mouth and i was a person like this …struggling between both …

and when i heard that he is going to throw me from his mouth … i took it literally that Jesus rejected me … i left that place … and i said where can i run away from God … where i can run away … 

So when i came back to that nightclub something happened …  

in that evening …you know i did not know what to do  … 

but i received a letter  and it says that my brother Ramzi … he was on his motorcycle and he died in an accident ..

he is the same one who asked me that question if you die and if i die ….

and i knew that evening that  if i die today … i will go to hell .. 

and what i did .. i said OK God i want to do something … did u throw me out of your mouth … and then i said if u accept me i will serve you all of my life do something about it … and when i say  if you want to say I’m a sinner ..NO I’m more than that … i need you… more than that … 

and in that time something happened to me i can’t explain it but now i can explain it …

the holy spirit filled my body my heart … people where dancing in that nightclub and i was dancing near my desk ..  and people thought that I’m crazy … i did not believe that Jesus will accept me and i resigned that evening from the nightclub … and i said who i’m going to tell first … it was 7a.m when i left that nightclub and when i entered my home … my grandmother who was in her eighties with very weak vision … sitting on the other side of the room …and when she saw me coming in …she said : come boy … come boy this is what she said … come and sit here … i said why …she said come and sit here … i said what do you want …she said .. you became a Christian 

i said Oh my God how did you know … i saw it in your face when you just came in … i said YES i did it … she hugged me and said : You bad boy … now i want to go home … now i finished my job … and within one week she died and went home …

that touched my heart .. me and my mother especially it brought a lot of joy that i was lost and now I’m Christian ..

i did not know that Jesus goes to nightclubs ….were we met there at 8 o’clock  in the evening and i gave him my life …