If you want me to love you, first you must show me
My name is Joseph. I am from village in Slovakia, near Prešov where I go to Catholic community Maranatha. I come from catholic family, it's common here. We pray together, go to church, so I heard about God from my early age. I was praying also alone, though sometimes I didn't really want to attend services (in Church). But I believed I should, so I was obedient and I was doing it.
Love? That's for girls…
But there was (at least) one problem. In church I heard I should love Jesus, but I can't imagine what that mean. I was in age when boys hate everything about love, "no, no, that's not for me!". This was how I felt too. But as I wanted to do what God wants from me, I told Him: "OK. If you want me to love you, you must show me how to do that first." At least I was honest.
Nothing happened that day, but soon in school there was Math contest. I always loved Math, but first test i did horribly bad. I've never got so bad grade in Math as at that time. But when second test came, which was just for best students from each school, nobody from our school wanted to go. So teacher sent me. I felt very important about that. I prepared and also prayed really much for that intent. Then I went there, wrote it and few days later teacher came and said: "You won the first place!"
Really? Wait – why?
I was quite shocked, but very happy. I remember how I had been praying for that, and Jesus really helped me. I also realized how small, unnecessary thing it is. But I felt that Jesus loves me, he cares for ME, knows me, He did that for me. I was very grateful and from this I learned what is love. I realized what Jesus have done for me, (He died so I can live), and that He is still with me and I am important for Him. Not just one from billions. As God said to Moses: "I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name." (Ex 33,17) I felt somehow like this.
You! You are special.
Maybe you don't know how He sees you. But Jesus loves you. This is truth. You can't imagine how important you are for Him, how He looks on you. With love and understanding. He showed me He loves me and also teached me to love Him. That was just the start, but our journey still continues. Not always it works like this: ask, get… But He always assures me I am His precious child and He cares for me.
So listen, He waits also on you, Jesus waits if you let him go in. What you've done, who you are, what you think… Doesn't matter. Or if you heard all of that so many times it became lifeless. Let Him in, He won't reject you and you'll not regret. Blessed day! Thank you for listening/reading. :)