New me

Hello, my name is Lucia. I am 20 years old, I’m a student and I would like to tell you how God  has changed my life and what He has been doing for me and to me.

I know God because of my parents. We were used to going to church on every  Sunday. I remember that parents taught us, me and my brother, to pray every evening and to be grateful to God.  Although we saw them going to church, we didn’t see them having any close relationship with Him.

While growing up, I had friends of all kinds. I used to have friends who were older than me, therefore, had more experience with smoking and whatever stuff you can imagine. As we spent a lot of time together, I got myself into bad habits, I didn’t say no to a cigarette. We had fun, but I always knew there is something more. Almost every time when I returned home, I felt empty, lonely. Sitting in bars late at night, I was wondering that there must be something more to live for.

As I attended a religious high school, I also had friends who lived with Jesus. I attended masses regularly, but I couldn’t find a way to enjoy them. Most of the times it was boring and I couldn’t wait until it finishes.

There was a part of my life when I was just sad and felt empty all the time. I didn’t know why am I living and I still had to be somewhere out with friends so I don’t think about things that bothered me and so I can feel loved. Unfortunately, those friendships weren‘t real, I always felt like I have to try hard to deserve their attention.

I was seeking that particular feeling of love and just couldn’t find it. I didn’t feel needed, wanted. I put my trust into people and it was always dissappointing. When I was about 15, I started to build a relationship with God and finally felt loved, felt that I am worth it. Jesus changed the viewpoint of myself and of the world. I am happy and even though not everything is perfect, I know I can rely on Him and He will take care of everything. I know I don’t need alcohol, fake friendships, attention of random people to feel satisfied anymore.

Because of the problems in my family I started to think that love doesn’t really exist and that people just fight all the time and you need to deal with it. We live in one house with my grandma. My mother and grandma didn’t even talk together. It was terrible to watch and to pick sides everytime. I started to pray and it didn’t take much, things started to change. It’s  got so much better. It’s not perfect, but God has been showing His power.

I know that He is almighty father who loves us more than anyone here on Earth. With Him we are safe. I also know that He is taking care of me and of everything in my life. He is the Father, on whom I can rely. He invites me to walk on the water with him, makes me brave, I find myself in situations that I would certainly refuse because of doubts and lack of self esteem, but He is faithful. I’m amazed by His love, even though we sin and sometimes make choices that don’t make Him happy, it doesn’t change the fact that his love for us is endless and that we can trust His promises.

Is 42, 16 I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.