The company I used to work for, a well-known construction company. When people would hear where I worked, their reaction was typically wide-eyed and congratulatory.  This was especially true when they learned that the company was paying for my master’s study. Then someone asked me, "How did you get your foot in the door at Catalfumo? Did you know someone inside the company?”. Without thinking, I responded, "No one except God!” Our conversation ended shortly, but conversations continued to haunt me.

Dozens of people applied for work each with this company each week. While I knew God was involved, I did not fully appreciate how God had helped me. My pride allowed me to miss the earlier magnitude of providence in this story.

This revelation was equally enlightening as it was confusing. While it explained how things had worked out so perfectly for me, it didn't explain why. I was not living a life fully committed to God. I wondered why God would bless me so greatly while I was still struggling with hypocrisy in my life. This question haunted and confused me. God had no good reason to bless me so generously. Why would God reward me before I was more obedient to Him?

These questions disturbed me. God’s goodness to me went against things I thought I understood about how God’s blessings worked. Eventually, I stopped asking myself these questions and started asking God. This continued for a couple of weeks, but God was silent. I thought He was ignoring my questions. I didn’t expect an audible voice, but I expected an answer. The silence was frustrating.

One day without warning a flood of understanding came over me. I began to feel the love of God open up inside of me. I began to consider God's goodness in my life. He revealed that He has always blessed me more than I deserved. He asked me what I had done to deserve great parents. How did I earn my able body and sound mind? What had I done that merits the fortune of always having enough food to eat and a roof over my head? God was telling me that there was nothing new that I needed to understand. Through all my bad behavior He had not allowed the them to destroy me. He has been blessing me with undeserved grace since he formed me in my mother's womb. The greatest blessing is that He made Himself available to me. Because of all these things it is a small thing for Him to bless me with an amazing job that paid well and paid my tuition cost.

God was challenging my arrogance and my thinking that I could somehow achieve enough to deserve or demand His love. The powerful wave of God’s love in my life broke me. The overwhelming love of God not only broke my heart but strengthened my resolve to serve Him and Him alone. While I am not perfect, I fell in love with my creator and found a true desire to love Him through my obedience. He first loved me in such a way that His love compelled a love response from me.

It is now the love that I have found for and in Christ who strengthens me to obey my God. This love changed my life and changed my story. In the end, this is a love story how God loved me into loving Him. I didn’t have to earn God’s love. The creator of the universe, the maker of everything knows my name and loves me dearly. Only after beginning to appreciate His love did I start better understanding who I am. My connection to Him is the gateway to my real identity. I am learning who I am through His love for me. His love for me is forging an ever-growing appreciation for Him within me, and that is the greatest reward. While I was still a careless sinner, He loved me with love so true that it broke me free from the shackles of lies and opened my heart to Him. There is no greater love than this. Have you ever felt His Love?