Gary Markham

Bloomfield, USA

From darkness to Light

I was born and raised in a Catholic church, and from the teachings of going to church along with CCD I believed in God, His Son Jesus Christ but when it came to dedicating my life to Jesus at a young age, btw I am 47. I never had the chance. The church taught me that salvation was by going to church every Sunday, and every Holy Day of obligation. During my teen years, I began questioning what the church was teaching, plus on my eighteenth birthday, I bought my first porn magazine, then my first porn VHS movie. I became addicted to porn but still thought of myself as a Christian even though Jesus was not my Lord and Savior. In 93' I joined the Navy and was given a small New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs, but I never read the Bible even with all these questions in my mind. During boot camp, I experienced a different church service, but I was still rebelling against God. Two years later, after my enlistment was over I returned home, got a civilian job, and enrolled in college to earn my associates of arts in psychology while still looking at porn and masturbating. I continued saying I was a Christian, and met my future wife through a Christian dating service provided by the local paper. We were married January of 98', graduated from college that summer, and my daughter was born a week before Thanksgiving. All this time I continued looking at porn, then in 2001 we saw a passion play where I finally learned what the Cross was all about. However, I did not give my life to Jesus. Nine years later, we saw the same passion play with two of our neighbor's boys playing disciples. Still, I did not give my life to Jesus, until December 8th, 2010, by confessing my sins to Jesus. The following year I joined the passion play cast as a disciple. A year later, calling out to Jesus for help in putting porn behind me the Holy Spirit directed me to the website of setting captives free, the website has changed format, but by taking the free Way of Purity course Jesus freed me from the bondage of porn and masturbating. However, two years later, a month shy of 14 years of service to Walmart I was fired. As the months progressed I started doubting God, and I eventually went back to porn and masturbating. But this time, I was going down the path of the dark side, and becoming a Sith Lord. Yes I am a huge Star Wars fan, and as I look back on the my dark path I was becoming a darker Darth Vader with the anger temper tantrums of Kylo Ren. I was still married and my son was born in 2003, I was also continuing to do the passion play. Around this time last year, along with getting A Miracle a day devotionals and other devotionals which I was reading but the messages were never sinking in, plus, I was not listening to the voice of God, I found a youversion men's ministry devotional, for the digital age. I read the seven day devotional and signed up for the six-week challenge, but quit before the first week. This year, while continuing down the dark side, I kept replaying something Master Yoda said in a secret Clone Wars cartoon episode where Yoda has to battle the dark side inside him. Spoiler alert, Yoda wins because he says, 'acknowledge you I do, but give you power I do not, ' continuing with getting A Miracle a day and a love letter from Jesus, and thinking about this men's ministry called Soulcon. I joined Soulcon challenge Mike which started on July 9th, but on June 29th I said never again to porn and masturbating. Jesus used Soulcon, A Miracle a day, the cast and crew of the passion play, that love letter, and of course that statement from Master Yoda to turn my life around. I am no longer walking down the dark path instead I am walking in the Light of King Jesus Christ. Men, the statement of Soulcon, is dying to self, by putting down the fork that feeds the flesh, and pick up the Cross daily by doing a six-week challenge of enlisting into the special forces of God's army. I am so blessed for what Christ has done for me through Soulcon and A Miracle a day. He is an awesome, merciful loving God.
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