I’d never expected or I’d had no idea how many positive changes might occur in my life by opening my heart to Jesus. And yet making the weighty and truthful decision of entrusting my life to God turned out to be more difficult and more complicated than it seemed to be.
I’m forty-five at the time when I’m writing my personal story down sharing it with you. Thirty years have passed since I took the decision to trust Christ. God gave me a wonderful wife and four beloved children, two daughters and two sons. I’ve never had any problem with going to church. However, when I was growing up, difficult questions concerning the existence of God, started to arise in my head: Where is God actually? If He does exist, is it possible for me to experience His closeness?
I was a decent boy and there was nothing in my life I truly missed. And yet at the deepest bottom of my heart I started to struggle in at least three spheres of my life. The first one referred to the lack of my aim in life. I was even thinking that if I were the best student finding one day a satisfying job as a result, where it all would lead me. How would I benefit out of it? It was also the time when I started to be anxious about what would happen with me if I died. Especially thunderstorms evoked a paralyzing fear inside me. I wondered what would happen to me if I were thunderstruck. But the most troublesome sphere of life I struggled with was experiencing my sinfulness. Many times I knew I wanted to do good things but it was really easy to turn aside from the main road.
At the end of some school year I was invited to a tourist trip. In fact, I wasn’t aware what trip I was going to. The days were filled with various activities. But what I remember best were the meetings in a small group. It was the time when in the first days of our stay we were discussing “The Four Laws of Spiritual Life”, namely about God’s love and God’s perfect plan for each person’s life, about the fatal results of sins that separated man from the source of life and happiness and then about Jesus, who had died instead of us. I couldn’t understand that my life might change because of comprehending some truths. The small group meeting in the fourth day astonished me. The challenge I was confronted with that day sounded more or less like this, “Are you ready to open your heart and life to Jesus acknowledging Him your personal Saviour and Lord?” Well, the challenge came real when it was presented by our small group leader. “Am I ready? Am I ready?” I kept asking myself.
We had some time to think the whole stuff over. I was walking in the fields that day pondering over it. I discovered then that I was actually afraid of entrusting my life to even such an ideal Person Jesus was. I thought I’d become a puppet in the hands of Jesus, who’d pull the strings in different directions making me do things I wouldn’t feel like doing. However, my fears started to fade away when I considered the promises Jesus gave, “I came that the sheep might have life, and might have it abundantly.” It was the words that led me to the moment when I stood up together with others after hearing the call to receive Jesus as our personal Lord and Saviour during the evening service at church. I said the prayer of entrusting my life to God.
At first sight nothing happened actually. And yet I gave my life to Jesus genuinely and for good. Only after a few weeks when I came back home, did I notice some changes. Firstly, after taking my decision of entrusting my life to Christ, the passion for living, learning with new power, developing myself, serving God settled down inside me. It’s been lasting up to now and it has never faded even in the face of difficulties. Secondly, a fear of death evaporated. I couldn’t understand it! I didn’t try to erase it out of my mind, after all. What’s more, I was aware of eternal life, which God had given to me. And thirdly, I started to feel that I could resist temptations and was not submitted to sinning any more. I’ve had Jesus, who had died instead of me. If I come to Jesus being tempted and I ask him for giving me the power to resist sinning, He makes the impossible change into a victory. Although I haven’t become ideal automatically and I’ve reached lows many times, I can see some progress. And what was my greatest fear connected with becoming a puppet in the hands of God, has never come true. God in His great mercy gave me new life and my task was to trust Him and accept the gift.
Has life become simpler and deprived of adversities? No, it hasn’t! And yet God gives the needed strength to cope with difficulties. He has become real in my life because one day I invited Him into my heart. Now I can experience His love, His care and the way He conducts me day by day. What a wonderful perspective! If I hadn’t entrusted my life to God genuinely and if I didn’t follow Him daily, I’d have never known what it meant.
And you may learn about it yourself if you decide to trust Him for 100%!