I was born a middle child. Quiet, observing and having low confidence. I grew up in a Christian setting, when my father led the family to convert from being a “free thinker”. I attended Sunday School, sang in a choir, and was baptized when I was around 10 years old. My baptism was a profound moment, as it was a time when I publicly declared that I believe in Jesus being the Son of God and that He died for my sins.

Little old man

From a young age, I had been a contemplative person. Contrasting between what was revealed in the Bible about creation and the history of everything, and the contemporary theories of evolution and “big bang” taught in the educational syllabus, I concluded that the Bible is true from the perspective of the most probable alternative due to the continuity factor including similar reported historical evidences from other dominant human cultures. From that, it is a given to me that the supernatural is real; and God, who is powerful, exists. I considered mythologies and mysticism as untrue, to be like fairy tales passed down through the traditions of idol worship. I was also aware of the occult where the devil and demonic beings were opposed to God.

Inner struggle

In my teenage years, I felt that I lived a double life: Christian on Sunday and pagan on school days. I desired to be accepted and blend in. On one hand I wanted to do good, yet on the other hand I know that my heart was filled with hurtful evil desires. I was learning between right and wrong through the principles of the Bible. Of course, I made many mistakes. It came to a point where I told myself, this cannot be. Either I am a Christian, or I am not. I chose to be more serious about my faith, and opted to follow Jesus’ way. I talked to Jesus through many personal conversations on life matters. He talked back! Many times, He would prompt me with words in the Bible, when I was going through a circumstance, that gave me strength and direction to proceed. From this assurance of His guidance and presence, I have peace.

The power of prayer

During the important high school exams, suddenly I felt ill on the day of my Physics paper because of something I ate. My concerned parents immediately led me to kneel and pray. My dad prayed for my healing in Jesus name. After “Amen”, I became nauseous and rushed to the toilet to vomit. I was much better after that and eventually aced the Physics exam. That incident taught me the power of prayer.

Good enough?

So far, so good. I looked good, on the surface. Pride developed within me, thinking that other people were not as good. However, through contemplation, I realized that I was no better than any convict. I was capable of and even had intentions of doing what others committed wrong, just that I did not do it yet. From that, I knew I could not defend myself before an all knowing God since I am just as guilty. God knows my heart’s attitude. How can God accept me as I am not good enough?

Grace

The Bible stated that it is by grace that I am saved, through faith (Ephesians 2:8). I cannot save myself as my sinfulness disqualified me. That is why I need Jesus, Who is sinless God in the flesh, to be my saviour by paying my sin debt through His qualified sacrificial death on the cross. That is God’s salvation plan for all people revealed. And it was His resurrection from the dead that gives me confident hope that I will have eternal life like His, even when I die. Therefore, I became not fearful about death.

Control out

When I graduated with an Engineering degree, I was ready to make the world a better place by solving problems and contribute with my gathered knowledge and skills. Then, disillusionment set in when I entered into the industry. In striving to control my career direction, things got out of hand and away from what I expected. That was when I sincerely gave full control to Christ. Take my broken life Lord I said to Him. I “died” at that moment.

Dark cloudy days

I sank into depression. Struggled with cloudy thoughts for many days and was constantly exhausted. Lost interest on life. My faith was the only thing that kept me going, when I could not hold onto anything for help. God encouraged me through giving hints of Him being in control. Though I did not understand, I pressed on in faith.

God’s Plan on marriage  

Even though things did not change overnight, I prayed for a wife. My prayer was answered when I literally bumped into Jeannie at a bus stop when I was working in Japan. I found out that she was a Buddhist and had a terrible past. Since I surrendered fully, I was thinking that if my life is just to bring one person to Jesus, it is a worthy one. Remembering the power of prayer from my youth and the story in the Bible of the persistent widow who bothered the judge on an important matter, I was inspired to pray for something that was very important to me. So, I prayed daily for Jesus to save Jeannie. He did. After 7 years since we met, Jesus spoke to Jeannie personally and she came to believe in Him. You can read Jeannie’s story here –

https://mystory.me/story/jeannie/

We got married soon after, and began our lives united in Christ. We both had so much joy to serve Jesus together as a couple in the University of Alberta when I was doing my PhD study. Through the years, we witnessed how God provided and was faithful in meeting our every need.

Practicing love in marriage

Married life meant that I have left my parents to be one with Jeannie. God used Jeannie to make me to be more like Jesus through His teaching of laying down of one’s life, as He did so for His wife which is the church (Ephesians. 5:25). I became more intentional in practicing what Jesus taught me through His words in daily devotions and prayer. Through loving my dear wife, I know first hand how much Jesus loves me through His sacrifices.

Do you know how much God loves you? Have you trusted God to give Him full control? I would love to share with you about having a relationship with powerful loving Jesus. Please drop me an e-mail.