I grew up in the 60’s, so the ‘peace’ sign was familiar to me. But real peace was something I couldn’t find, no matter how hard I searched. In spite of being surrounded by family who cared about me, I always felt like an outsider and had many questions about whether my life had meaning. Why did I exist? Was there a reason God had put me on the planet? Did he have a life story written especially for me?

Overwhelmed by anxiety

When I was in my mid-twenties, I got a job teaching high school French, in spite of the fact that my preparation was for teaching English. For this and many other reasons, I felt I was in a really dark place. At this deep crisis point in my life, I had a friend who stuck by me. She showed me continual love and compassion, even though her own life was a difficult one. When I asked how she was able to do this, her reply was simple: ‘It’s Jesus. He’s the one who fills me with his love, and he gives me the strength I need to love others.’

I believed in God, but wasn’t too sure about this Jesus. However after a time of reading and reflection, I began to realise how hungry I was for something that was true and real. I prayed, ‘God, if you are there, and if Jesus really is your son, please take my life and do what you want with it. I’ve messed it up until now, but I give it to you.’

A different kind of peace

Then I was filled with such a deep peace. For the first time I could remember, my anxious thoughts and fears were stilled and I knew God had heard and answered my prayer. While it hasn’t been all smooth sailing from then on, over the years I’ve begun to grasp how much Jesus loves me. He was willing to die a horrible death, to pay the price to set me free and bring me into a relationship with God. And I’ve seen his purposes for me fulfilled as I trust him for each day. The story I’m living in is much more exciting than I could have imagined.

A childhood dream come true

One dream that I had since childhood was to write books for children, to pass on to others the comfort and spiritual insight I had received from books when I was young. To my amazement, that began to happen, and so far I’ve had ten books published. I don’t know what the next years will bring, but I do know that I still want to follow Jesus and see what he has in store for me!