Since I can remember I have been looking for things or people to bring me complete satisfaction and joy. I've tried everything from accomplishments, sports, career paths, relationships, sin, etc. You name it and I've probably tried to get all of my joy from it. Until a few years ago I didn't think that was a bad thing. In fact, I thought I just hadn't found the right thing or the right "someone" to satisfy me. I was even encouraged by friends to continue pursuing and devoting my life to certain things in hope that they would fulfill me.
When I entered university I had this dream of studying theater and becoming a famous Broadway actor. I worked hard to get into the school I did. It was my only plan. I had no back up. After a few months of studying, I realized that theater and this dream I had of being an actor no longer brought me any joy. I had dedicated a good portion of my life to pursuing this, so why didn't it satisfy? I was angry with myself and with God. I remember praying one night, frustrated with God, asking why He let me waste so much time and energy on something that doesn't make me happy. I was miserable. Hopeless. I felt as though God spoke to me though in prayer and through the Bible. I was reminded that He is the only one who can truly and forever satisfy me. If I devoted my life to God, he would be my joy.
I was a freshman in college and I had no idea what to do with that message…
So I looked elsewhere for joy and contentment. I met a girl. I devoted my life to her. I moved cites, worked two jobs, continued in school, all to be with her. I had forgotten that God offered full and real satisfaction. I thought for sure this girl would be everything I desired. But the relationship ended. I had distanced myself from everyone except for this girl, but now I didn't even have her. However, God was still there. Waiting for me. Offering me this eternal joy and satisfaction. I felt like God was telling me again to devote my life to him, instead of anything or anyone else, and He would satisfy me. I had no other choice. I had no one else. Nothing else. So I let God into every part of my life trusting that what He said was true.
Since then I have failed. Relationships have broken. I have quit things. I have been unhappy. But God has given me Himself. He has provided for me a joy that cannot be taken away. He has given a satisfaction in Him, and myself, and eternity that cannot be shaken. He loves me. He calls me son. I know that will never change.
If you have ever put so much of yourself into something or someone and was still left dissatisfied and unhappy, I know what that is like. God wants to give you true contentment in Him. Just contact me if you would like to know how.