Have you gone through those times that you just feel like you're doing it for the sake of pleasing someone? Yes that was me growing up. Most of the things that i did revolved around what my parents told me. I go to church because that was what my parents told me to do. Hardly missed a Sunday school class on Sunday. Never wore short skirt or dress because 'it was not allowed'. Joined the choir because i felt like i was something when i'm in it and i had to. But when I got home, i got into my usual rebellious ways like when Mum tells me to do something, i throw fits etc.
In the midst of all this God was knocking at the door of my heart. Revealing His ways bit by bits through people and circumstances around me. One Sunday back in December,1999 i went to church, as usual. I was 11. Joined my Sunday school class as usual. But there was something different about this Sunday. You may think that at that age you would not understand much about heaven and hell, well i did. After that session about heaven and hell and the ways to those 2 places i was totally bought. A few questions answered from my sunday school teacher( whom i am thankful for planting that seed along time ago) and i was ready to give my life to Christ. By the end of that day i had asked Christ into my life, to be my personal Saviour and Lord.
I was still me(physically) outside but there was a drastic change to my behaviour at home and school and my perspective on church as a whole.I go to church now not beacuse i have to but because i want to. I listen to parents out of love and not out of duty (they are my role models) .
In addition I saw God answer the big prayers and even the small ones like bus fares or lunch money. It was awesome to see those blessings coming. At the same time i went through some tough times and it was equally awesome to see God move in all those times.
I can say that if it hadn't for God's grace i would not have survived this walk with Him. Through His Spirit, he gave me the strength to rejoice in my weakness, persevere through the hard times and be a channel of encouragement, love and peace to those around me. This journey is probably the hardest one that i have taken.But the fact that Jesus is my Hope encourages me to keep going. Like right now as i am writing this i feel like breaking down. Things at home are not going so well. But i rejoice! Rejoice in the fact that in this world there will be trials and struggle but God has overcome it already (John16:33)through what He did on the cross.
You can accept this Grace too ,but you have to want it. It is up to you. Even though He is a big God, He still gives us the choice. It is our choice to want Him to be our Saviour, our hope or not. If you choose the former then let a Christian friend know or hit me an email or comment on my page and i will be more than willing to help you with that process.
But it has to be your choice.