Ryan Durban

Ioannina, Greece

Doubting God

I was considering abandoning the faith I had grown up with.  I was a first year University student studying engineering.  My Physics professor had just finished a lecture by telling our class what he thought about educated people who believe in God.  He did not use kind words, and he was angry and disgusted as he insulted people who actually believe in God. He told us that in order to have integrity as scientists and engineers, we would have to set aside any notions of God. 

I had never heard anyone say things like that.  I didn’t know how to respond.  Was he right?  Is faith in God incompatible with science?  Is the idea of God just something people invented?  What is true? These were just some of the questions bouncing around in my mind.  To make matters worse, that same year my parents told me they were getting a divorce.  I was confused and angry.  Christians aren’t supposed to get divorced!  I allowed this to add to my doubts about God.

I had grown up believing that God was real and that Jesus had died & rose from the grave so that I could be forgiven and have eternal life.  But I was beginning to wonder why I believed this.  I didn’t abandon my faith, but I drifted further from God in the way I lived as these doubts grew in my mind. I decided I would focus on school and having a good time.

Over the next 2 years, I became increasingly restless.  I realized that many of the things I was doing weren’t satisfying me.  I decided it was time to start sorting through these doubts I had about God.  In this search for truth I started reading books written by people who had faced some of the same questions and doubts as me.  I also started studying the Bible with a group of Christian students from my University.  What I experienced was incredible. 

I began to see so many solid and convincing reasons for God’s existence.  I was amazed to learn that dozens of famous thinkers throughout history had become followers of Jesus.  Not because of some mystical experience, but as they examined the evidence for God’s existence and for Jesus’ identity as the unique Son of God, they determined it was true.  I was comforted by Jesus’ words, as he summarizes the most important thing anybody can do: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.”  I found that real faith is reasonable.  Faith and the intellect are meant to go hand in hand.  I also found that life with Jesus at the center was better.  Nothing else in life can provide the joy and satisfaction that come from knowing Him.

 

If you relate to my story or have any questions please contact me.  I would love to share some of the books and resources I have found helpful!

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