When I decided to follow Jesus I was 10 years old. I saw a hope I didn’t see on TV and in the lives of my classmates. A common misconception of Christianity is that life gets better when you become a Christian. While I haven’t had a hard life and have been blessed in many ways, ever since I’ve decided to follow Jesus, I have often felt alone.
A desire everyone has is to be known And since I’ve been young I’ve gone from friend group to friend group, feeling like I never made a true intimate connection with anyone. My tendency with those feelings is to withdraw from God and from people. And that is when my loneliness grows exponentially. I have not felt known or desired. It’s led me to believe lies that no one wants to know me, that no one truly cares about me, and that I will never have true friends.
The desire to be known is not bad. But I’ve learned it’s a lie that I am not known and that I’m alone.
Psalm 139:1-2, 14-15 says
O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made
In Psalm 139 you can see how God knows you so much better and intimately than any one person could. He knows your thoughts and your desires and you are fearfully and wonderfully made.
These feelings of loneliness, they are real, they are difficult. But try and comprehend this, Jesus knows you far better than any individual could. If you follow him, He will lift you up and give you hope. I still struggle with feeling alone. But I’ve learned I need to fight those feelings. To push through, to draw close to God, the one who truly knows me. I need to draw close to those in my life who can point me to God and be intentional with them and show them love. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.
Know, while you may feel alone and unknown, you are not alone. God knows you and loves you so much. There is hope in Jesus.